sickly me... sickly london

I've never been so sick in my life... not that I'm down with some incurable disease, but this illness has been torturing me for the past 2 weeks. It's really a bad time to get sick, with the change of role, studies, and his exams around the corner. I'm really trying very hard to recover but without antibiotics and a peaceful mind, it's really tough.I'm slowly recovering after seeing the nurse and taking the antibiotics. Though slow, but there is progress. I was really worried about the side effects the sickness and all the mediciation could give me, but I'm even more upset by what he said. I could never understand how he could said such cruel words in his clear mind. I hate him, for what he said. I really think he hates me too, if not why would he say such things. The words keep ringing in my head:" if I'm sick and you are having exams, I will not stay in the house and disturb you". =(Where can i go? I've tried to follow all he'd said: don't blow my nose, drink warm water, warm honey... what else can I do? A sick person should rest, but not being at home, where can I rest. After a day of work and studies, the only place I can go is that house. If I'm in Singapore, I could go to mum's place or even my good friend's place, but we are not. We are in a foreign land where I have no such good friends I can rely on. I'm so heart broken. What have I done to deserve this? Leaving my family and friends, giving up my job and career just to get all this. Yes, he does provide me with everything I need and try to compensate by contributing more, helping me to settle down and helping me in finding a job. It seems like my life now is quite good, but somehow I always feel something is missing. I can't really say what it is, just feel a part of me is missing. Forget it... No matter what I do or say, he won't believe.Though I said I did not want to leave the house with him, but I waited for him at the train station. I don't know what was taking him so long, 3 trains left and he's still not there. I decided to leave since it might means we are not fated.I really don't know what wrong with me. Sometimes I felt better and recovering, but the next moment I feel sicker. Like now, my mucus is so so yellowish, worst than the past few days and my cough seems to get worse. I wonder am I down with some incurable disease? I don't really want to die in a foreign land ALONE.