technology surprises me

i never imagine myself writing my blog just like sending a sms. Wif yun yun sleeping so soundly next to me n no cumbersome wires. It's no wonder y pple keep changing hp. Wif tis phone, will it help gong gong in his work? I really hope so. Though it takes long to write as compare to type but it's definitely more convenient for gong gong to go out wif us. At least he dun need to bring his laptop wif him all the time or rush back to check emails-tat's sme thing to b happy. I just hope tis wld nt give him the opportunity to work even longer. Just hope he knows hw to take care of himself.

One big mucus

No wonder people said mother will do anything for their child. To think I actually try sucking out the mucus in Fion's nose. I guess all mothers will do that for their child.

I saw some shops selling those small little suction pump for clearing nose, but when I saw how small Fion's nose is, I wouldn't dare to put any hard object near her face. She might just struggle and hit against it. So using my mouth is the most natural and gentle way of clearing her nose. See how big her mucus was. She was crying for milk this morning and the mucus was coming in and out of her nose. Guess if papa was there, he would just ignore since it won't hurt her. But I felt she might breathe better without that sticky mucus. Once I tried sucking and pulling it, it came out so big. I guess Fion could breathe much better thereafter.

Visit to the doctor

Today is the 2nd time we've brought bb to see Doctor Lim. Shouldn't call bb anymore. She has gotten her birth cert and her official name - Fion Foo Jia Yun.Today, papa and mummy went with a worrying heart. Worried that we overfed Fion – since she’s drinking milk like every hour, plus after latching her, she still cries for more milk. Sometimes, it seems like she drank up to 160-180ml of milk per feeding. She never seems satisfied. Next is her jaundice. The lactation nurse mentioned if she sleeps too much, then we might want to bring her to the doctor earlier. I was thinking over and over again how to determine "sleep too much". Thought all bb like to sleep. My girl sleeps alot during the day, takes a longer time to fall asleep at night. But overall she seems to be sleeping normally.All the worries went off when doctor said she’s growing well. She weighs 4.4 kg today, gained 400g since her last visit a week ago. The doctor said it's good that she's gaining weight, but amazed at the rate she put on weight. Guess she's just like when she was in my tummy, getting all nutrients from whatever her mummy/she eats. I’m happy as well. Been thinking about my breastfeeding process with Fion. Probably I was too stubborn and competitive. I just wanted to be like other mums to be able to direct feed her and hope she can be like other bb, ignoring the fact that all bb are different. This gave me and Fion additional pressure. Now I learn to take things easy. If she can latch and I can take the pain, will try to latch her. If not, bottle will be fine, as long as she still gets the goodness of breastmilk.

missing umbical cord...

I never thought I would keep the umbical cord of Fion, but to throw it away seems a pity. No matter what, it's part of her. I should keep it and show her when she grows up.

Her umbical cord took longer than usual to fall off. Mum said usual 5-6 days after she's born. It took slightly longer, but it still came off. I din notice how it came off, but luckily it din drop somewhere till I can't locate. If not, there would be any memory for Fion.

Mummy's challenge

Amongst all things, breastfeeding is one of the most challenging task I faced. You never seem to know if the bb is full or satisfied. Latching the bb to my breasts is also a big challenge. After latching, she can suckle for 2 hours, but yet still cry for more after the feed. This is especially tiring in the night. I wonder if it's due to her bottle feeding habit though the lactation nurse said so, but the older folks all believe it's just a matter of time when she has the strength to suckle. I guess I would have to follow my instinct and also look at how bb responds. I love you bb. You are doing well. Let mummy and you work hard.

Yun Yun, my darling girl...

After a week of thinking and checking, we finally decided on the chinese name for Fion.

She is known as Fion Foo Jia Yun - 符嘉芸.

Papa decided that name will affect Fion for life, so we decided to get help from a fortune teller. Initially,we wanted the name "Yu Han - 宇涵", but the fortune teller said it was not suitable. So he told us to come back on Tue to get a selection of names.

We had quite a few chinese characters to choose from and we had to mix and match the chinese characters to get a name we want. There are actually quite a few selections, but we had constraints such as must not clash with relatives' name, must sound nice in Hainanese, must be unique. So after discussing with both families, we finally decided on the name "Jia Yun". "Jia"means praise, "Yun" means among the rest. I guess this is my interpretation that she will be the outstanding one among the rest.

Anyway, I like the name. Of cos' it may not be the most unique name, but it fits my girl perfect. Yun yun... That's what I would call her. She's my beautiful girl.

First big challenge

Just when we thought everything was fine, Fion was detected to be down with genital pneumonia 4 hours after her birth.

It all happened when she was out in the ward with us and I was trying to breasfeed her, she started making some noise and breathing faster. Initially, we thought she was cold and it's normal to make such noise, but papa said he did not feel safe. So we called the nurse in and she too said it was okie and was going to bring Fion back to the nursery. Papa insisted following the nurse to the nursery to find out what happened. An hour later, he came back saying that the nurses realised she was grunting. This is a warning sign that she was not feeling well. She was then brought to the Nursery ICU.

Oh no!!! What happened to my baby. I was loss and sad. Mummy is so so stupid. Din even realised you were not feeling well. The pediatrician - Dr Lim came a few hours later and said she is going to put Fion on drip and antibiotics and monitor her situation over the next few hours to see if it's due to fluid in the lung or bacteria infection.

The next few days were torture for both papa and mummy. We kept going to the NICU to see Fion. Looking at tubes in her hand, legs and mouth, I was so heartbroken. But papa said Fion was getting better. Dr Lim also came back saying that all the symtoms showed that it should be genital pneumonia which she might have gotten through the birth canal.

Oh dear. It's mummy who caused you to be so uncomfortable. I'm sorry baby. Mummy also dunno how it got to you. So we asked Doctor Lim and Doctor Adrian how it might have gotten to Fion. They all said it's rare cos' the bacteria might be there and does not affect the adult or child, but sometimes it will. They also mentioned there should not be any occurance in the future and the bacteria is no longer in mummy's birth canal.

Frankly, until today, I still puzzled by all the explanation. But one thing for sure is that after this big illness, Doctor Lim said Fion will have the antibodies against this bacteria and would be getting well.

Mummy discharged on Saturday noon, but Fion could only be out on Sunday, so it was another day of torture for mummy. Over the 3 days in hospital, mummy couldn't sleep well. Kept thinking of my girl.

Finally, on Sunday, mummy got you in my hand.

Presenting ... Miss Fion Foo

After 8 hours of battling (from 0700-1518), she's finally here. Presenting Miss Fion Foo. , the bb is finally out. Standing at 4.015kg, height 51cm, she is the unique big girl that came out naturally from her mother's womb without any help of epidural. It seems like a remarkable result to mummy, but I'm even more happy and satisfied cos' she came out in the most original and natural way. Of course, experiencing the labor process makes me realised how noble is motherhood and what my mum had went through. I definitely appreciate and respect her even more, though I'm not good with expressing through words. Looking at my bb, I start to wonder what went through my mum's mind when she had me. I was such a rebellious kid when young, plus she had not much support from my dad or family since she was alone in Singapore. My mum is definitely a strong woman. I must learn to be like her.

Awaiting the arrival...

Went to see Doctor Adrian today for my last checkup before delivery. Baby is about 3.6kg, so we decided to induce her on Wed. Doctor Adrian then told us to go back to prepare and be back at the hospital at 11pm where he will give me a tablet to assist me to dilate.

I'm so nervous now. In maybe less than 24 hours, we will see the arrival of our beloved daughter - Fion.

38th week

Time flies. I’ve been so busy at work the last 2 weeks trying to clear my things. School holiday has started and coming to an end soon. Next week when school reopens, I’ll be on maternity leave too.

Fion has been very co-operative and understanding towards her mummy’s needs. Despite a lot of pple said my tummy is low and expected to go on delivery earlier than the EDD, I’m still working at my 38th week. This Saturday will check with the doctor to see when to induce her as she is growing so big. She is now almost 3.5kg. At this rate, if I don’t induce her, may need to go thr' c-sec to get her out. That’s the last thing I want to. I would want her to come to the world in the most natural way.

I can't wait to see my baby, but yet I worry I won't be a good mother. The anxiety and nervousness is getting over me. May be the hormonal change too that cause me to have all sort of emotions. In the first place, I'm more of an emotional person. I really hope to be a good mother and also keep reminding myself not to be overly protective. It's hard, but I have to try. With all the support I could get from people around me, I would have to tell myself I can do it.

Gan Ba Tie!!!

31st week

I'm in my 31st week that is about 7.5 months. My tummy suddenly grows so big until everyone kept asking if I'm going to deliver soon. When I said I still have 2 more months to go, they then turn to say if I’m expecting twins. Of cos’ not. Mine is a girl – a big girl I suppose.

The doctor said the baby is on the big side. At 7th month, she is abt 2.23 kg. This is usually the weight of baby nearer to birth – abt 8 month. The baby gained approximately 100g per week. Based on this calculation, she will be 3.5 to 4kg near birth. The doctor said if I want to deliver her naturally, will depends on the size of my pelvic bone and also the actual day situation. I really hope to deliver her naturally. Both beneficial for me and the baby.
Me and gong gong till now is still thinking of her name. We agreed on the English name of "Fion". This came from the initial idea of her Chinese name being Foo En Qi, however, I was swayed by relatives not to have that name. But guess the English name should be fine. So we are still stuck with no Chinese name. 2 more months and the baby will be out. We actually came up with a few and it has been decided that we will seek the help of a fortune teller to see if the name is suitable, if not for the fortune teller to come up with a few selections. Though both of us are not the superstition type, but gong gong felt name is forever. It is better to think of a good name for Fion.
Gong gong started writing a song for Fion, but he just wrote 2 verses so far. He kept singing the 2 verses for her. Sometimes she responds to the song, sometimes she doesn't. Somehow I find Fion doesn't respond to us when we try to talk to her at night. She's more responsive during the day.

As she grows bigger, every morning on the bus, I will try to wake her up and talk to her. Sometimes I worry she will just stop moving. She has been a very well-behaved gal in my tummy. Despite my busy work schedule, she always co-operate with me. So far, other than occasional backache, I never had to take medical leave becos’ of her. She is so nice to me. I love you Fion.